Man Bashing

Q: Why do men like smart women?

A: Opposites attract.

Q: How do men define a “50/50” relationship?

A: We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q: How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

A: Make him wear shoes.

Q: What did God say after creating man?

A: I can do so much better.

Q: What’s the smartest thing a man can say?

A: “My wife says…”

Q: Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

A: So men can understand them.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?

A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

A: Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

A: Because none of them will stop to ask for directions.

Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?

A: When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.

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